Monday, 3 October 2011

In which Twiz finds herself Martha...


But  learns to be like the widow of Nain


Hard times at Twiz Towers this week. 
My father is still in intensive care ten days after surgery 
and his recovery is painfully slow. 


Why, instead of finding myself on my knees praying, 
do I find myself baking,
turning out cupboards,
bringing extra work home?
 If I’m on my knees it’s because I’m cleaning the skirting boards. 
I am that busy Martha with no time to wait on the Lord’s word.


And I’m scared to pray.
I’m scared to ask for God’s healing 
                            in case he doesn’t heal Dad 
and I’m scared not to pray for healing 
                            as it shows how little faith I have. 
So I bake.
And I clean.


We had a visitor at church today.
When she read the story of the centurion, I was shocked. 
I had just been thinking of his story
seeking his faith.
But then she read on.
About the widow of Nain.
The woman who din't ask for anything.
Didn't even think anything could be possible for her dead son
And Jesus saw her need.
Without her asking.


Our speaker said that on our journey with God sometimes we don’t know how to pray.
We can’t see what God can see.
What God can do.
And that’s okay.


And sometimes our faith is strong enough to ask for what we want.
Like the centurion.
And that’s okay too.



And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, 


for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 
Matthew 6 v 7,8

Linking up with Michelle and Hear it, Use it Every week I feel blessed and encouraged at how God speaks t me through this community. I'm sure he gets one of you to write something especially for me every week!

5 comments:

  1. I totally and completely understand this. When my mother-in-law was dying last year, I didn't ask God to heal her. I asked for courage, hope, strength, all that, but not for healing. And for the exact reason you mentioned: I was afraid he wouldn't, and then I would be angry or disappointed, or worse, disbelieving.

    But when I mentioned this to someone in the aftermath of her death (I think I was guilty for not praying for her healing), she said, "God knew anyway, because he knows your heart." I had forgotten about that, of course -- that God knows all of us, inside and out. He knows what we need, what we think, what we yearn for, even if we don't put it to words.

    God didn't heal my mother-in-law in the end, but her death was filled with peace and love, and I find I am grateful for that, and it is enough.

    I will pray for you, friend, and for healing for your dad. (that's the other thing about a faith community, you know -- friends and loved ones pray for what you need, too!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Michelle, for your prayers and your support and sharing your friend's wise words.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is a mystery...thank you for sharing your vulnerable heart on it...
    Thy will be done is sometimes the only way into prayer...and then sometimes we can then listen.

    And when we pray "the Lord's Prayer" it is in the plural...so we can pray for each other that way too...
    Give him this day, your daily bread....

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